Total Money Makeover

Nobody wants to talk about money. I get it, it's private. That's fine. Except, that I think for the majority of people, you aren't talking about it not because you have so much of it and you want to be modest or you don't want someone to break in and take it all from underneath your mattress. You aren't talking about it because you have some debt or a lot of debt or you don't even know how much debt you have because you aren't looking at it. If you don't look at it, it's not there, right? You aren't talking about it because it would probably blow your cover and the appearances that you are attempting to keep up. You don't want others to know the real situation because then you might actually have to do something about it. You may not even want to know the real situation because then you might need to do something about it. I think it's time to start talking about it.

When Ryan and I took premarital counseling 10+ years ago and took the compatibility test we scored a 0 on the financial section. A big fat 0. So it doesn't surprise me that 10 years later we are just now getting on the same page...for real this time. April of this past year was as low as it could have gotten with our communication about our finances and as a result we needed to make some major adjustments. As we were picking up the pieces, my sister handed me their copy of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover, which are principles that I had used before but didn't know there was a book! I read the book in a matter of hours and began to get ready to follow the plan laid out very simply in this book. The plan is simple but it calls for you to live like no one else so that you can live like no one else. It means getting a bit extreme by the standards of your friends and family. If they aren't looking at you like you are crazy then you aren't doing enough. As I was getting ready to launch full steam ahead into the Total Money Makeover, I was hitting some pretty good resistance from Ryan. Whoa. Okay, so he needed to read the book too and not just hear it from me. Hearing it from a third party often times has amazing effects. Okay, now we've both read the book and we are both ready to launch our crazy attack on our finances. Whew.

I hesitate to tell you all the amazingly crazy things we've done to begin to change our financial future because it may scare you off from beginning your own journey to a healthy and secure financial future. I know because we led a TMM group and the brave people in that group took some time to get to the point of willing to do whatever it takes...some still are not there.

We decided to lead a Total Money Makeover group, not because we are pros...obviously not...but because it challenged us to bring our situation into the light, which inevitably always helps others who are in a similar situation. As I would talk to people about the group, I heard people tell me they had no idea how much debt their husband has, how they are debating bankruptcy, how they "just" have student loans and that's not a big deal...not one person I talked to said, "I don't have any debt." None of those people joined the group. So if we are all dealing with it, why aren't we talking about it? It's shameful. It's embarrassing. It's admitting you don't have it all together. We live in a different time than our grandparents and even our parents to some degree. Credit is bountiful and has been thrown at us since day one on campus. My student loans have been with me longer than I've known my best friends from college. Right out of high school and right into debt...ahhh. Everyone's dream. Seriously, it doesn't help to not talk about it. It only makes it worse.

Our priority is for me to be home with Hudson and we are not willing to bend on that so what does a one income family do to speed up the TMM process? I'll tell you. We read the book. We committed together to work the plan. We constantly re-evaluate and communicate about the plan. Ryan began looking for a second job immediately. I started A Lady With A Baby on a hope, a prayer, and a lot of hard work. We sold items sitting in our basement on Craigslist and on ebay. We took clothing we weren't wearing anymore to consignment shops. We STOPPED eating out...hello. We cut cable, netflix and the vudu (movie rentals). We stopped buying wants and only purchase needs. We cut out pet grooming and car washes...we can do those at home. We went back through the house and sold more on craigslist and ebay. We considered moving to somewhere cheaper (harder to do when you own). We are selling our cars that are paid for in order to pay down debt. We'll get a cheap vehicle and become a one car family for a couple years. We are going to have a big TMM garage sale this spring. Again through the house for more ebay and craigslist items (it's all just stuff anyway...we've decided to make our stuff work for us for a change).

We've gotten really passionate about helping people get their financial situation back on track. We also realize that you need support to do something like this, which is another reason for the group. We needed support and understanding. We needed someone to cheer us on and to get mad with us when the debt isn't going down fast enough. We will continue to lead this group as many times as we can to help as many people as we can and get people talking about it which leads to doing something about it. We can do anything for a short while in order to set ourselves on a great track for the future. Live like no one else so that we can live like no one else.

I'm going to not eat out now so that one day you'll be able to find me at my vacation cabin in the mountains of Colorado or at my loft in New York City. My cell phone number won't change so you'll be able to reach me at either location. Of course, you'll probably also be able to find us at our paid for townhome in Lawrence, KS when we are not off hiking or seeing shows on Broadway, the actual Broadway.

And there you have it.