The Unknown

So I'm a planner. Planning, organizing, list making, doing x and y to get to z, all this is FUN for me. Not only is it fun, it is theraputic. So I've got this big UNKNOWN in my life, which is where, how, and what is next for us? Where will Ryan work? Will Ryan find work? When will Ryan find work? I am finding that I am having trouble dealing with this on a daily basis. When it comes to the big scope of things, I am fine. I know that God will provide that next opportunity and we will do whatever that is. It's this day to day business that is getting me. Not knowing what that next step is doesn't allow me to make my list and take the necessary steps forward. Remember this is theraputic for me, so I am a girl who loves and needs to plan, only I don't know the plan so I can't plan for the plan. So I feel like one of those wind up toys that you have cranked the knob until it won't turn anymore and you know once you place it on the ground and let go, it will go flying, full speed. My mind is so wound up that I couldn't sleep until 3:00 a.m. last night. So today I am trying to just be present today, thankful for the things that are. Thankful for the severence pkg, so that we don't HAVE to find something RIGHT NOW! Thankful for being able to live in this beautiful area. Thankful for being able to spend more time with Ryan. I am trying to remind myself that these things take time and that God's (and Ryan's) timelines aren't the same as mine and that's okay. Patience has never been my strong suit and probably never will be. I am an action oriented chic, no need to sit around when something can be done! So hence, my struggle: I am a wind up toy waiting to be released. Just pray for me to chill out.